Thanks to my daily dose of DrudgeReport I came across a story about these new (not really that new apparently) parties that were popping up. Speed dating is lame. Going to bars is for douchebags. Tinder and Bumble are easy enough, but the people you meet from it….uuuggghhhh!! Well, just like Booger in ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ said, “Hey guys…pheromone parties!”

So what is a pheromone party? And if by chance you are not that intelligent, you even be asking, what is a pheromone? Let’s start with pheromones, then we can have fun talking about the parties.

The Greek word, Pheromone is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. (Your scent) Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting like hormones outside the body of the secreting individual, to impact the behavior of the receiving individuals. (Gets people all hot and bothered) There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behavior or physiology. — Wikipedia

Basically, smells matter. We have all sorts of attractions, and scent is definitely one of them. I mean how much money do colognes, perfumes, body lotions, etc. make selling ‘pleasant scents’…and those have nothing to do with our DNA or secreted machismo. The question is, how much do they matter? How important is smell to you? To anyone?

This brings us back to pheromone parties. What are these and how do they work?

There is a group throwing these pheromone parties all over the world. Their tagline is ‘A match making experience based on scent.’ It seems like there is a niche that this type of party belongs in. It is known as biological matchmaking.

According to PheromoneParties.com, the concept was started by artist Judith Prays. She finally admitted to herself that online dating wasn’t working for her. Witty, self aware writers didn’t seem to equate to great, lasting relationships. Through experimenting she ended up on a date with someone who wouldn’t ordinarily have made the cut online but in real life, was a complete success. The mystery of how gaps in conversation could be trumped by olfactory delight, and the long term relationship that ensued, made her wonder – should we be dating based on smell? (Ummmm what??)

Judith had the idea in 2009 and launched her first event in Brooklyn in late 2010. After an article about the event went viral, the second event was held in LA. Scientific advisor, Charles J. Wysocki, helped verify and streamline the pheromone print process and now the events are taking place globally. The events are not held quite that often. But when they hold them, they are commonly held in NYC, London and LA.

The way the pheromone party works is quite methodical. Here is how you do this:

1. Guests are asked to sleep in a cotton t-shirt for 3 nights to capture their odor & bring it in a large freezer bag to the party.

2. Bags are labeled pink for girl blue for boy. Bags are assigned a number. Only the guest knows what their shirt’s number is.

3. Bags are placed on a table. Guests smell the bags at their leisure throughout the party.

4. If a guest finds the smell attractive, they take a photo with the bag. Pictures are projected as a slide show on the wall.

5. If you see a guest you find attractive holding your number, this is the greenlight to talk to them.

6. At the end of the party, a Facebook album is created & all of the pictures are tagged – If you missed your match at the party, you can still contact them.

It is that simple. But is it that simple? I mean, why are we coming up with new ways to judge people? There aren’t enough ways already? What is this really going to tell you? Can you imagine discounting their bad teeth, lack of a job, poor relationship history, and his constant fighting with his mother, all because he smells like Calvin Klein…I mean, WTF?

How do these people attending these take themselves seriously? If you think you are being rebellious or righteous by saying that pheromones are a great way to connect to someone, that is just silly. Clearly, most people doing this are just in it for the trend. That is evident by the cities that host these events.

Pheromones work, no doubt about it. When it accompanies something else. It rides along with the attraction of looks. It is not the main way to judge anything. The good news is, is that once you make your stinky connection, you can go to dinner and both order the fish (stinky). Then head home, light some incense (stinky). Take her shoes off and give her a foot massage (stinky). And cap the night off huffing paint or glue (stinky).

A match made in stinky heaven.